Scars

No, I'm not perfect, never said I was
 I keep it on the surface, never give enough
 Got BPD and OCD
 So when you see me, you don't really see me
 Always do the same thing just to maintain
 If I don't, I'ma break things, say insane things
 I don't really wanna talk about it, I want help
 Swear it's so hard for me to love myself
 I can't enjoy the good days 'cause I know the dark comes next
 I'm a child of divorce, that explains my stress
 I was ten years old, future pulled out from under me
 Never had much stability to cover mе
 Cold nights in my father's trailer
 Funny how I miss those timеs
 Funny how it never really crossed my mind
 Up until those days get far behind
 I've been searching for a purpose, to make life worth it
 Trying to unearth it, hate that death's certain
 Thinking all the things that I took for granted
 All this success, could've never planned it
 Yeah, I've been thinking 'bout my life in the past tense
 If I never dealt with that, would I rap then?
 All the traumas that I went through made me me and everything I be
 Makin' all these scars
 It hurts me right before I run away too far
 I'll never let a soul in
 One day I'll find the peace of mine
 The peace of mine (oh)
 And it's been so hard to handle the pressure
 Worse before it'll get better
 Scared that I'm drowning
 But I keep going, I have to ease it up
 Bury my head in the sand, but I'll be a better man
 I just close my eyes and pray that I'll be fine
 And I just stay awake
 Longing for the day I change
 I wanna change sometimes
 And I just stay awake hoping all my stitches fade
 (But all these scars will never fade away)
 Used to be young, I miss those days when I could be dumb
 But I had to grow up fast 'cause life came at me
 And I miss life when I was no one
 Used to be broke, used to be alone in my room playin' shows
 Grippin' the mic and I would kill it when I was low
 Everything change when I came up
 Now I'm just someone I barely know
 And I'm cutting people off too easily and it scares me
 Mom did the same and it hurt me, but don't compare me
 Set to explode, I approach pain rarely
 Have you ever felt sane? (Barely)
 Dark days, always in a dark place
 Doing things the hard way, I don't wanna start things
 So I'm just keeping to myself, want a way out
 But I might need help
 Makin' all these scars
 It hurts me right before I run away too far
 I'll never let a soul in
 One day I'll find the peace of mine
 The peace of mine (oh)
 And it's been so hard to handle the pressure
 Worse before it'll get better
 Scared that I'm drowning
 But I keep going, I have to ease it up
 Bury my head in the sand, but I'll be a better man
 I just close my eyes and pray that I'll be fine
 And I just stay awake
 Longing for the day I change
 I wanna change sometimes
 And I just stay awake hoping all my stitches fade
 (But all these scars will never fade away)