Mixed Emotions

Lost inside my head, this time it feels like I'm not crawling out
 Stuck with all this dread and I can't fight it, so I'm calling out
 Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways
 Don't gotta tell me 'cause lately I been trying to change
 And it's unhealthy the way that I been taking the blame
 I let 'em hate me 'cause I don't really care
 I'm sick of going through the motions, tired of losing focus
 Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken?
 I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken
 Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless
 I wish that I could dive right in it, love when I'm winning
 I been nonstop working, 'boutta burst through the ceiling
 But the outcome never seems to match what I'm feeling
 And the thoughts run through my head, they don't want me to breathe again
 Yeah, and it's been killing me to see just what my life's like
 Yeah, I went to therapy to try to get my mind right
 Told me I'd feel better if I'm staying out the limelight
 But I couldn't do it if I wanted
 And I can't explain this feeling
 My heart's been fighting my brain
 All up in flames and I been
 I been calling
 Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways
 Don't gotta tell me 'cause lately I been trying to change
 And it's unhealthy the way that I been taking the blame
 I let 'em hate me 'cause I don't really care
 I'm sick of going through the motions, tired of losing focus
 Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken?
 I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken
 Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless
 I got too attached to my past, now I gotta kill the old me
 Lost way too much, so don't tell me that you know me
 Lost everyone I had, now all I know is feeling lonely
 Try to stray from this path, but I can't 'cause it chose me
 I can keep going on, but I save my breath
 I distract myself, just write another check
 And I just gave a quarter-million to the IRS
 Another quarter for a trip just to decompress
 So tell me why it's not working
 When I could buy like anything I want, life should be perfect
 But there's more to me than what you're seeing on the surface
 Happiness was something I could never seem to purchase
 I swear, like every day I been hurting
 And I can't explain this feeling
 My heart's been fighting my brain
 All up in flames and I been
 I been calling
 Can anybody help me? I know I been stuck in my ways
 Don't gotta tell me 'cause lately I been trying to change
 And it's unhealthy the way that I been taking the blame
 I let 'em hate me 'cause I don't really care
 I'm sick of going through the motions, tired of losing focus
 Always do my best, can you tell me why I'm broken?
 I'm sick of my emotions, words I've never spoken
 Always in a cloud above my head and now I'm hopeless