Smiling Bill McCall

Well, the whole town listened to the radio
 For the Smiling Bill McCall Show
 Everyone in Nashville
 Was listenin' to Bill
 I don't want to be layin' in bed
 When they pronounce me dead
 He'd stand and breathe in the microphone
 With his guitar hangin' to his knee bone
 All the girls just sat and dreamed
 When Bill began his sing
 I don't want my hat to be hung
 When my last song is sung
 But he never let fame go to his head
 "This is Smiling Bill McCall", he said
 "Gonna pick and sing a song or two
 You all listen till I'm through"
 And if you're at the house or in your car
 Tune in this time tomorrow
 To all the boys he was a big hero
 They'd glue their ears to the radio
 Then talkin' a most unusual drawl
 Imitatin' Bill McCall
 Daddy, can I get me a guitar
 'Cause I want to be a star
 The girls would say of Bill McCall
 Why I bet he's over six feet tall
 Handsomest man in Nashville
 They said of Smiling Bill
 He won't be plantin' potato slips
 When he cashes in his chips
 Then one day Bill didn't make the show
 Didn't even show up for a week or so
 The station's boss said to city hall
 "Find Smiling Bill McCall"
 It won't be hard to track him down
 He's got the biggest feet in town
 Well, there's a creek that runs through Nashville
 And on the bank they found Smiling Bill
 He's committin' suicide
 But they grabbed him before he tried
 "Turn me loose, I want to jump", he screamed
 "'Cause I can't stand that theme"
 Let this be my final breath
 'Cause I'm scared to half to death"
 The big brave Smiling Bill McCall
 Is only four feet tall
 I'd rather be in the river dead
 Than to hear 'em laughin' at my bald head