Illegal Smile

When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad
 Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
 Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won
 And it was twelve o'clock before I realized
 That I was havin', no fun
 Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
 And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
 It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
 Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
 No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
 Last time I checked my bankroll, it was gettin' thin
 Sometimes it seems like the bottom
 Is the only place I've been
 Chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end
 And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
 Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
 And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
 It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
 Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
 No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
 Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
 Tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls
 I dreamed the police heard
 Everything I thought, what then?
 Well I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman
 Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
 And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
 It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
 Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
 No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
 Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun