She Got The Gold Mine (I Got The Shaft)

Well, I guess it was back in '63
 When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me
 So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife
 Well, she said she would, so I said "I do"
 But I'da said I wouldn't if I'da just knew
 How sayin' "I do" was gonna screw up all of my life!
 Well, the first few years weren't all that bad
 I'll never forget the good times we had
 Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support.
 Well, it wasn't too long till the lust all died
 And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
 The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch.
 Well, I tried to get in she changed the locks!
 Then I found this note taped on the mailbox
 That said, "Goodbye, turkey! My attorney will be in touch!"
 So I decided right then and there
 I's gonna do what's right give her her fair share
 But brother I didn't know her share's gon' be THAT much!
 She got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
 I got the shaft. I got the shaft
 They split it right down the middle
 And then they give her the better half
 Well, it all sounds sorta funny
 But it hurts too much to laugh
 She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft
 Now, listen you ain't heard nothin' yet
 Why, they give her the color television set
 Then they give her the house, the kids, and both of the cars! See?
 Well, then they start talkin' 'bout child support
 Alimony, and the cost of the court
 Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was!
 I'm tellin' ya, they have made a mistake
 Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes!
 Besides; everything I ever had worth takin', they've already took!
 While she's livin' like a queen on alimony
 I'm workin' two shifts eatin' baloney
 Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?!?!"
 They give her the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
 They give me the shaft. I got the shaft
 They said they're splittin' it all down the middle
 But she got the better half
 Well, it all sounds mighty funny
 But it hurts too much to laugh
 She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft
 Well, she got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
 I got the shaft. I got the shaft
 They split it all down the middle
 And then they give her the better half
 Well, I guess it all sounds funny, Hoo, hoo, hoo, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
 But it hurts too much to laugh
 She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft
 (They ain't kiddin' me I got the shaft)
 Well, I don't have to worry 'bout totin' a billfold n'more
 Hahahahaha
 I let my wife tote it; I'mon' be carryin' food stamps
 You get it, judge? I'mon' be... Just... Hahahaha
 Ah, it's not funny, huh? Huh? Huh
 Contempt of court? Whaddaya mean?
 Listen, judge: I's just kiddin'!