I'm a Conservative

I used to lead a quiet life
 In fact, it was a bare existence
 I passed out on many floors
 I don't do that anymore
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 Hello, my friends
 Is everybody happy?
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 Hey, look me over, lend me an ear
 I'm a conservative
 I like the small black marks on my hand
 I'm a conservative
 I like the crazy girls that I screw
 Hey, hey, I know them all well
 And when I run out of bread, I laugh
 All the way to the bank
 Sometimes, I pause for a drink
 Conservatism but ain't no easy job
 I smile in the mornings
 I live without a care
 Nothing is denied me
 And nothing ever hurts
 I got bored, so I'm making my millions
 When you're conservative, you get a better break
 You're always on the right side when you're conservative
 You walk with pride, pride is on your side
 (Pride, pride, pride is on our side)
 (Oh, boy, pride is on our side)
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 I like my beer
 I like my bread
 I love my girl
 I love my head
 I'm in the clear, man
 I'm in the clear
 'Cause I'm a conservative
 I'm a conservative
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 I really am
 Oh, yes, l am
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 And it could mean so much to me
 If you would only be like me
 Yes, it could mean so much to me
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 Hey, look me over, lend me an ear
 I'm a conservative