Hitchin' A Ride

Hey, mister, where you headed?
 Are you in a hurry?
 Need a lift to happy hour? Say, "Oh, no"
 Do you break for distilled spirits?
 I need a break as well
 The well that inebriates the guilt
 One, two, one, two, three, four
 ♪
 Cold turkey's getting stale
 Tonight, I'm eating crow
 Fermented salmonella, poison oak, no
 There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrated
 My tongue is swellin' up, I say
 "One, two, one, two, three, four"
 ♪
 Troubled times, you know I cannot lie
 I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride
 ♪
 There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrated
 My tongue is swellin' up, I said
 "Shit!"
 ♪
 Troubled times, you know I cannot lie
 I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride
 (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride
 (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride
 (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride
 (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride
 (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride
 (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride
 (Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride
 Say birthday boys, hey