The Harvard Variations

Emmett: Hello. I'm Emmett Forrest.
 Welcome to the hallowed halls of Harvard Law.
 Let's go around and share a bit about yourselves.
 Aaron: Aaron Shultz.
 I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes.
 I write financial software codes.
 But that's a challenge I've outgrown.
 How many yachts can one man own?
 Some say that I'm a pompous creep,
 Somehow I don't lose that much sleep.
 Why bother with false modesty?
 Harvard's the perfect place for me!
 All: Pretty impressive, good to know.
 Emmett: Welcome to Harvard.
 Sundeep: What's up?
 Enid: Yo!
 Sundeep: Sundeep Agrawal Padomadon,
 But you may call me "Your Majesty".
 In my country,
 My word was law.
 But then I flee,
 Because of stupid "coup d'etat".
 But here I learn,
 I make new friends.
 And soon return,
 In bullet-proof Mercedes Benz.
 All: Pretty impressive, good to know
 Emmett: Welcome to Har -
 Enid: ENID HOOPES!
 I did the peace corps overseas,
 Inoculating refugees,
 In family clinics that I built myself,
 From mud and trees.
 I fought to clean up their lagoons,
 And save their rare endangered loons,
 And led a protest march against insensitive cartoons.
 All: Pretty impressive, good -
 Enid: But now I'm on the legal track,
 Because this country's out of whack,
 And only women have the guts to go and take it back.
 We'll make the government come clean,
 And get more people voting green,
 And really stick it to the phallocentric war machine.
 Elle: I love your top! It is so fatigue chic!
 Anyone know where I can find Criminal Law 101 with Professor Callahan?
 And Warner Huntington the Third?
 Emmett: It's in Houser. Over there, second building on the left.
 Elle: Thanks!
 (s layered on top of each other)
 I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes
 I write financial software codes
 In my country
 My word was law
 I did the peace corps overseas
 Inoculating refugees
 All: Harvard's the perfect place for me
 Harvard's the perfect place for -
 Elle: Warner!
 All: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
 Elle: Scuse me!
 All: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
 Elle: Pardon me!
 All: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
 Elle: Comin' through!
 All: Harvard's the perfect place for me!
 Pretty impressive, good to know
 Welcome to Harvard -
 Warner: Elle?
 Elle: Omigod, Warner? I totally forgot you go here!