The Awful Truth

The awful truth concerning me
 The creature-feature mystery
 Is simply this in the worst way
 I wanna play Mrs. Dracula
 The challenge is tough
 But I know I've got the stuff
 To be just spectacular
 Can't you see it in lights?
 Rosie really meets Dracula!
 So close your eyes and visualize
 Me in a cape and fangs in my head
 Loving a guy who's mostly dead
 I don't see him often 'cause he sleeps in a coffin
 Nothing could be zanier
 Than our lives in Transylvania
 We're fabulous one day and rotten the next
 Variety says, "Those two must be hexed!"
 At six in the morning
 When my sweetie is yawning
 I feed all the bats
 A mush made of rats
 Then I tidy the tomb
 Cover all the trap doors
 And wash any old blood stains
 Of off the floors
 Don't you see this juicy part
 Was meant for me?
 I got the looks
 I got the style
 I got bloodshot eyes
 And a ghastly smile
 It's the dream of my life
 To play Dracula's wife!
 The reviews will all rave
 This movie's a whopper
 A super show-stopper
 And no one can top her
 Not Rosie!
 Dear Academy
 Take note
 I should get the Oscar vote
 If I don't
 I'll bite your throat!
 Signing off now
 Quote, unquote