Dirty Pant'loons

You never had a chance
 You doodied in your pants
 Pant'loons - dirty pant'loons
 You did the pee-pee dance
 You wet your fancy pants
 Pant'loons - dirty pant'loons
 I was alive for only five
 Shoulda played hookie and stayed at home
 Where the toilet was my own
 I had to go but I was too shy
 Then everything came out that was inside
 And in the classroom I did cry
 Oh momma come and get me soon
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 You never had a chance
 You doodied in your pants
 Pant'loons - dirty pant'loons
 You did the pee-pee dance
 You wet your fancy pants
 Pant'loons - dirty pant'loons
 "Take me away" cried my hidden face
 She held me and started down the hall
 Stopped by a mop-and-bucketed man
 Who with concern wanted to know all
 That's when I felt something start to fall
 No time for spoken words to be said
 As the walnut fell from my pant-leg
 He got his answer nodded his head
 Can't wait for this day to end
 With every moment my humility spread
 I'd pay good dollar just to forget
 That walnut that fell from my pant-leg
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 I got a walnut in my pant'loons
 The janitor was from Winnipeg