The Cigar Song

Well, I'm a sucker for fine Cuban cigars
 The problem is I can't afford 'em
 But last year I went and got myself a whole box
 And just to be safe I insured 'em
 I took out a policy against fire and theft
 And then I hurried home
 With a 50 cent lighter, I sat on my back steps
 And I smoked 'em one by one
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 Two weeks later, I went to see that insurance man
 And I handed in my claim
 With a straight face I told him that through a series of small fires
 They'd all gone up in flames
 They reviewed my case and they had no choice
 But to pay me for what I'd done
 I took that check and bought a whole new box
 And I smoked 'em one by one
 ♪
 Two weeks later, this detective shows up
 Tells me that company's pressin' charges
 One speedy trial later, they locked me up
 On twenty-four separate counts of arson
 And now I sit, and I stare at a blank brick wall
 Lookin' back on what I've done
 To pass the time, I've got some ten-cent cigars
 And I smoke 'em one by one
 Yeah, I smoke 'em one by one