Online

I work down at the pizza pit
 And I drive an old Hyundai
 I still live with my mom and dad
 I'm five foot three and overweight
 I'm a sci-fi fanatic, a mild asthmatic
 Never been to second base
 But there's a whole 'nother me that you need to see
 Go check out MySpace
 'Cause online, I'm out in Hollywood
 I'm six foot five and I look damn good
 I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate
 And I love a good glass of wine
 It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
 I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious
 'Cause even on a slow day
 I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time
 I'm so much cooler online
 So much cooler online
 I get home, I kiss my mom
 And she fixes me a snack
 And I head down to my basement bedroom
 And fire up my Mac
 In real life, the only time I've
 Ever even been to LA
 Was when I got the chance with the marching band
 To play tuba in the Rose Parade
 But, oh, online, I live in Malibu
 I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
 I'm single and I'm rich
 And I got a set of six-pack abs that will blow your mind
 It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
 I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious
 'Cause even on a slow day
 I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time
 I'm so much cooler online
 Yeah, I'm cooler online
 When you got my kind of stats, it's hard to get a date
 Let alone a real girlfriend
 But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
 Every time I log in
 Oh, online, I'm out in Hollywood
 I'm six foot five and I look damn good
 Even on a slow day
 I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time
 I'm so much cooler online
 Yeah, I'm cooler online
 Hey, I'm so much cooler online
 Yeah, I'm cooler online
 (Yeah, he's cooler online)
 Hey, I'm cooler online (oh, oh)
 (Yeah, he's cooler online)
 Yeah, I'm sittin' alright
 Hey, I'm cooler online
 (Yeah, he's cooler online, hey)