Tombstone Blues - Alternate Take

The sweet pretty things are in bed now, of course
 The city fathers, they're trying to endorse
 The reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse
 But the town has no need to be nervous
 The ghost of Belle Starr, she hands down her wits
 To Jezebel the nun, she violently knits
 A bald wig for Jack the Ripper, who sits
 At the head of the Chamber of Commerce
 Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
 Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
 I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
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 The hysterical bride in the penny arcade
 Screaming, she moans, "I've just been made"
 Sends out for the doctor who pulls down the shade
 And says, "My advice is to not let the boys in"
 And the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside
 He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
 "Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride
 You will not die, it's not poison"
 Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
 Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
 I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
 ♪
 "Ah, John the Blacksmith, he torturing a thief"
 Says the hero, the Commander-in-Chief
 "Tell me, great hero, but please make it brief
 Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"
 The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly
 Saying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry"
 And dropping a barbell, he points to the sky
 Saying, "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken"
 Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
 Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for the food
 I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues