Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues - Witmark Demo - 1962

Well, I saw it advertised one day
 That the Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way
 "Come along and take a trip, we'll bring you up there on a ship
 Bring the wife and family, bring the whole kids", yippee
 Well, I run right down and bought a ticket
 To this thing called the Bear Mountain Picnic
 Little did I realize, I was in for a pleasant, funny surprise
 It had nothin' to do with picnics
 Didn't come close to a mountain, I hate bears
 Took the wife and kids down to the pier
 There were 6000 people there
 Everybody had a ticket for the trip
 "Oh well", I said, "It's a pretty big ship"
 Besides, anyhow, the more the merrier
 Well, we all got on and what do you think
 That big old boat started to sink
 More people kept a-pilin' on
 That old ship was a-goin' down
 Funny way to start a picnic
 Well, I soon lost track of my kids and wife
 So many people I never saw in my life
 That old ship was sinkin' down in the water
 There were 6000 people tryin' to kill each other
 Dogs a-barking, cats a-screaming
 Women a-yelling, men a-flying, fists a-flying, paper flying
 Cops a-coming, me running
 Maybe we just better call off the picnic
 I got shoved down, got pushed around
 All I remember was a moanin' sound
 Don't remember one thing more
 All I remember's walkin' up on a shore
 My arms and legs were broken
 My feet was splintered, my head was cracked
 I couldn't walk, couldn't talk, smell, feel
 Couldn't see, I didn't know where I was
 I was bald, quite lucky to be alive though
 Well, feelin' like I just climbed outta my casket
 I grabbed back hold of my picnic basket
 Took the wife and kids and started home
 Wishin' I'd never got up that morning
 Now, I don't care just what you do
 If you wanna have a picnic, that's up to you
 But don't tell me about it, I don't wanna hear it
 'Cause see, I just lost all my picnic spirit
 Stay in my kitchen, have picnics
 I have picnic in my bathroom
 Well, it don't seem to me quite so funny
 What some people are gonna do for money
 There's a brand new gimmick every day
 Just to take somebody's money away
 I think we oughta take some of these people
 Put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to Bear Mountain for a picnic