On the Road Again - Take 4, Alternate Take

Well, I wake up in the morning, there's frogs in my socks
 Your mama, she's hidin' inside the icebox
 Your daddy comes in, wearin' a Napoleon Bonaparte mask
 Then you ask why I don't live here
 Honey, do you have to ask?
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 Well, I go to pet your monkey, I get a face full of claws
 I ask who's in the fireplace and you say, "Santa Claus"
 The milkman comes in, wearing a derby hat
 Then you ask why I don't live here
 Honey, how come you have to ask me that?
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 I ask for something to eat, I'm hungry as a hog
 So I get brown rice, seaweed and a hot dog
 I got a hole where my stomach disappeared
 Then you ask why I don't live here
 Honey, I gotta think you're really weird
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 Well, your grandpa's cane, it turns into a sword
 Your grandma prays to pictures that are pasted on a board
 Everything in my pockets your uncle steals
 Then you ask why I don't live here
 Honey, I can't believe that you're for real
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 Well, there's fist fights in the kitchen, they're enough to make me cry
 Then the milkman comes in, even he's gotta take a side
 Then the butler, he's got something to prove
 Then you ask why I don't live here
 Honey, I can't believe why don't you just move?