Florida Man

Should you settle down in the Sunshine State?
 You should know of its tangled fate
 How the conquistador came to Florida
 Long before it had a name
 The medicine man of the Seminole
 Knelt by the sacred flame and cursed the soul
 Of the conquistador
 And his son, and his sons, and the young ones
 Of the Florida man
 Florida man (Florida man)
 Florida man (Florida man)
 Florida man (Florida man)
 Florida man
 Down at the mall, where the boas crawl
 Ted makes love to a concrete wall
 His brother Red said his Uncle Ned
 Found Elvis in a loaf of bread
 (Florida man)
 High on meth, there's little Beth
 The neighbor's cat is on her breath (Florida man)
 Dan dreams he's got red wings of fire
 He's waking an' shaking on a power wire
 Florida man (Florida man)
 (He's cursed)
 Florida man (Florida man)
 Florida man (Florida man)
 Florida man
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 Slim sees his face on a moonlit wave
 He grabs a shovel and digs his own grave (Florida man)
 Lee hates plate glass, he drives right through it
 Said Alice's caterpillar made him do it (Florida man)
 A Miami nurse snatches a purse
 And drives down the freeway in reverse (Florida man)
 Phil asks the cops to test his drugs
 After they find him hiding under a rug
 Florida man (Florida man)
 Florida man (Florida man)
 (He's cursed)
 Florida man (Florida man)
 Florida man
 Don't you laugh, it could be you
 The Florida curse always comes true
 You can jeer, but you don't understand
 Any fragile soul can be a Florida man