Adelaide's Lament

Let's see
 It says here
 The average unmarried female
 Basically insecure
 Due to some long frustration
 May react, react?
 With psychosomatic symptoms
 Difficult to endure
 Affecting the upper respiratory tract
 In other words
 Just from waiting around
 For that plain little band of gold
 A person can develop a cold
 You can spray her wherever you figure
 The streptococci lurk
 You can give her a shot
 For whatever she's got
 But it just won't work
 If she's tired of getting the fish-eye
 From the hotel clerk
 A person
 Can develop a cold
 Oh, that's so crazy
 Let's see
 Chapter 12
 The female remaining single
 Just in the legal sense
 Shows a neurotic tendency
 See note, where's note?
 Chronic organic syndromes
 Toxic or hypertense
 Involving the eye
 The ear and the nose and throat
 Oh, that's very interesting
 In other words
 Just from worrying
 Whether the wedding is on or off
 A person
 Can develop a cough
 You can feed her all day
 With the Vitamin A
 And the Bromo Fizz
 But the medicine never
 Gets anywhere near
 Where the trouble is
 If she's getting a kind
 Of a name for herself
 And the name ain't his
 A person
 Can develop a cough
 And furthermore
 Just from stalling
 And stalling and stalling
 The wedding trip
 A person
 Can develop la grippe
 When they get on a train for Niagara
 And she can hear church bells chime
 The compartment is air conditioned
 And the mood sublime
 They get off at Saratoga
 For the fourteenth time
 Where a person
 Can develop la grippe
 La grippe, la post nasal drip
 With the wheezes
 And the sneezes
 And a sinus that's really a pip
 From a lack of community property
 And a feeling she's getting too old
 A person
 Can develop
 A big, a bad, a really, really bad cold