Mr. Shuck 'N' Jive

(Jimmy Webb)
 Tell us once again this morning, old friend
 how did you win the war?
 Everybody loves a hero,
 it won't matter if we've heard your
 tale before
 Tell us of the time when almost
 everybody knew you were a star
 And how intelligent you are
 Prove that you're alive
 Mr. Shuck 'n Jive
 Tell us of the man who stole your for-
 tune and nearly ruined your life.
 Or better still-the one about the t.v. and
 the couch and your best friends' wife
 Tell us of grand projects never finished
 with somebody else to blame
 And all the reasons that your fame
 never did arrive
 Mr. Shuck 'n Jive
 If you can get yourself together
 kindly write a criticism of this song
 How it's exquisitely constructed, yet
 mechanical, and somehow slightly
 wrong
 Put it in your book about the enemy
 you never even met
 You know, you just might make it yet-
 But I don't think you'll survive
 Mr. Shuck 'n Jive
 You know, you just might make it yet-
 Mr. Shuck 'n Jive