Rock Paper Scissors (live)

It's rock paper scissors as to whether
 I will get over you at all
 It's hand against hand and both hands are mine
 It's standing in a circular line
 Which is not to say that I'm not also happy
 A happy meal with a surprise inside
 Surprise, surprise is another bright light in your eyes
 Exposing all the stuff you're not calculating enough to hide
 This melancholy that I carry makes me feel so grown up
 At my kitchen table doing shots of resignation
 I never thought I'd see the day when I would I say I give up
 And break the stallions of my wildest expectations
 But I do not want to know you this way
 Surrounded by so much pain
 But how am I supposed to let go of you this way
 Like a bird into the sky of my brain?
 I think, I could accept all these dark colors
 As just part of some bigger color scheme
 If it wasn't for that drippy string quartet of sadness
 Underscoring each smiling scene
 Desire drags me right out of myself
 Like a gas-soaked rope tied to a piece of coal
 And I'm getting pretty good at looking at the bright side
 While the flames rip along the sand and, and swallow me whole
 But this melancholy that I carry makes me feel so grown up
 At my kitchen table doing shots of resignation
 I never thought I'd see the day when I would say I give up
 And break the stallions of my wildest expectations
 But I do not want to know you this way
 Surrounded by so much pain
 But how am I supposed to let go of you this way
 Like a bird into the sky of my brain?