Jukebox (live)

in the jukebox of her memory
 the list of names flips by and stops
 and she closes her eyes
 and smiles as the record drops
 then she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair
 and she dances out of time
 as slow as she can sway
 as long as she can say
 this dance is mine
 this dance is mine
 her hair bears silent witness
 to the passing of time
 tattoos like mile markers
 map the distance she has come
 winning some, losing some
 but she says my sister still calls every sunday night
 after the rates go down
 and i still can never manage to say anything right
 and my whole life blew up
 and now it's all coming down
 she says, leave me alone
 tonight i just wanna stay home
 she fills the pot with water
 and she drops in the bone
 she says, i've got a darkness that i have to feed
 i got a sadness that grows up around me like a weed
 and i'm not hurting anyone
 i'm just spiraling in
 and then she closes her eyes
 and hears the song begin again
 she appreciates the phone calls
 the consoling cards and such
 she appreciates all the people
 who come by and try to pull her back in touch
 they try to hold the lid down tightly
 and they try to shake well
 but the oil and water
 they just wanna separate themselves
 she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair
 and she dances out of time
 as slow as she can sway
 as long as she can say
 this dance is mine
 this dance is mine
 this dance is mine