Hold Back

A collection of truths
 strategically placed
 a horde of mysteries and
 some fears faced
 a raging battle under
 calm and serene
 often saying what I think
 but not often what I mean
 I need to see
 reality so I
 know that it's not just a dream
 and I lay my cards out
 for everyone
 but I never am quite what I seem
 I hold back
 take hold of dares
 as though you're almost done
 as if it's the last thing that you'll ever do
 and I will always run because
 a misguided guide I am
 an ignorant lead
 I never know what I want
 but I'll tell you exactly what I need
 and I see you smile
 and it makes me nervous
 and while I'm laughing the truth is
 I don't know how to do this
 i have no idea of what's okay
 no matter who you are
 but you'll never get to know
 because I'll never get that far