Bill

I used to dream that I would discover
 The perfect lover someday,
 I knew I'd recognize him if ever
 He came 'round my way.
 I always used to fancy then
 He'd be one of the God-like kind of men
 With a giant brain and a noble head
 Like the heroes bold
 In the books I've read.
 But along came Bill
 Who's quite the opposite of all
 The men in storybooks
 In grace and looks
 I know that Apollo
 Would beat him
 All hollow
 And I can't explain,
 It's surely not his brain
 That makes me thrill --
 I love him because he's wonderful,
 Because he's just my Bill.
 He can't play golf or tennis or polo,
 Or sing a solo, or row.
 He isn't half as handsome
 As dozens of men that I know.
 He isn't tall or straight or slim
 And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim.
 And I can't explain why he should be
 Just the one, one man in the world for me.
 He's just my Bill, an ordinary man,
 He hasn't got a thing that I can brag about.
 And yet to be
 Upon his knee
 So comfy and roomy
 Seems natural to me.
 Oh, I can't explain,
 It's surely not his brain
 That makes me thrill --
 I love him because he's -- I don't know...
 Because he's just my Bill.