Remarkably Insincere

Yeah, I'm such a liar
 One time I told you
 You were the highlight
 Of all of my sexual life
 While I'm confessing
 When you're undressing
 I was picking the lock
 On your safe with my knife
 Einstein
 If you're so naive
 That you believe
 Everything I said to you
 Well, I got your sex
 And wrote you rubber checks
 Well, what did you think
 I was gonna do
 My reputation for exaggeration
 It never got to you
 That's why I left Duluth
 Sometimes I stretch the truth
 My dearest darling
 You know that luggage
 It belonged to the blond
 With the really nice pair
 And incidentally
 I sorely missed you
 The pain was so hard to bear
 If I would rate you
 Not that I hate you
 But you would end up
 Eighth, maybe ninth in your class
 Your build is hot now
 If you could use your
 Brain like you use your ass
 Oh, you're so naive
 How could you believe
 Everything I said to you
 My reputation for exaggeration
 It never got to you
 Sometimes I'm so uncouth
 Sometimes I stretch the truth
 Hey, I'm such a liar
 One time I told you
 You were the highlight
 Of all of my sexual life
 I'm remarkably insincere
 Incredibly insincere
 Totally insincere
 Oh don't take it so hard, my dear
 I'm consistently insincere