No Man's Land

I got a job in Atlanta in a mall playing Santa
 Not because of any talent
 But because I was the only one the suit would fit
 Everybody's shopping, little sticky kids were hopping
 On my lap with their fingers in my beard
 I guess they thought that I was really it
 She sat down on my lap and said to me
 "I'm twenty three and I need someone
 You look like someone who could play with me
 Stay with me, all day with me"
 'Cause I'm in no man's land
 Can't seem to find a real man
 You know I'm lookin' for a steel man
 She said I'm in no man's land
 I'm gonna show you a real good time
 I'd gladly pay you double overtime
 She was beggin' to be mine
 But my job was on the line
 Should I say or should I go?
 Oh, I just didn't know
 I left fifty kids standin' in line
 They were whining, they were crying
 And their mothers they were screaming in hysterics
 And I swear I never heard such profanity
 I dropped my suit on the floor
 They were trying to block the door
 They were calling her a whore
 They were driven to nativital insanity
 We drove away in her Mercedes Benz
 Dirty blond split ends in the breeze
 She said "I want to put you under my tree
 You're just a little gift from me to me"
 'Cause I'm in no man's land
 Can't seem to find a real man
 You know I'm lookin' for a steel man
 She said I'm in no man's land
 You know I'm ready for a real good time
 I'd gladly pay you double overtime
 She had money all her life
 She wasn't lookin' to become my wife
 She said "I hope you understand
 I just want a nightful of man, Sonny"
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 She didn't notice I was thin with a delicate chin
 Nor the softness of my skin, nor the scent of my other personalities
 She didn't see through my disguise, didn't see it in my eyes
 She was in for a surprise when she discovered my emotional plurality
 She said "Come and lay down on the floor with me
 It's warmer here by the fire"
 She didn't know that there was more of me
 She'd have to learn to love all four of me
 'Cause I'm in no man's land
 I'm lookin' for the real me
 If only I could feel me
 You know I'm in no man's land
 Sometimes I gotta play me
 It's really hard to stay me
 Hey, I'm in no man's land
 I'm looking for the real me
 If only I could feel me
 You know, I'm in no man's land
 Sometimes I gotta play me
 It's really hard to stay me
 Oh, I'm in no man's land
 I'm looking for the real me
 If only I could feel me
 No, no, no, I'm in no man's land