Master Charge

(Sax intro by Jon Smith)
 I got my wife a charge card
 Just the other day
 I owe five hundred dollars
 Just for yesterday
 I said, "Honey, here's a present
 Go out and shop around,
 buy you a couple a-dresses,
 browse around downtown"
 She did just what I told her
 Bought one, two, three
 Came home lookin' silly
 Makin' goo-goo eyes at me
 Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
 Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
 Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
 Oh yeah, charge it!
 Said, "Did you get your dress?"
 "Yes, one or two"
 I needed me some shoes,
 I needed some jewelry, too"
 Two hundred dollar dresses
 I could-a made, I can't sew
 It made me so mad
 I could call her a so and so
 Mastercharge, I'll break an' bury her card
 Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
 Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
 Oh yeah, charge it for me, charge it, baby!
 Hey! Ow!
 For one-a that gal's dresses, yeah
 I paid one and a half
 I'm so mad, I just had to laugh
 I could see in my mind
 On a horse like Paul Revere
 Hate to check my mail boxes
 'Cause these bills keep comin' here
 Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
 Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
 Mastercharge, break an' bury her card
 Oh, let's charge it!
 "Oh, don't get too much on the bill, dear"
 ("Oh, I put five hundred dollars already, baby")
 "Yeah, but I know, but I'm-a, you know that, that, that, 18% is killin' me!"
 "Yeah, I understand darlin', but I know you wanna charge it an' everything but, yeah, darlin' "
 ("They have 'American Express")
 "But, wait a minute, man, I, I told ya to take that Master Card with ya
 And take one wit' ya and leave one at home
 "But you look good in them blue jeans, though"
 ("Yeah, I understand about dresses")
 Yeah, they got 'em on sale up there, upside the wall, there"
 "Fifteen dollars, man, on sale darlin', here, let me look for ya"
 "I'm gonna bet you, be struttin' down the street in them blue jeans, haha"
 "Yeah, but you can even wear them dresses on the weekend"
 "Yeah, I hear ya baby, well charge it then baby, that's alright, yeah"
 ("I have a Visa"!)
 "What"? (heh, heh)
 "Give me the scissors, I'm gonna cut 'em up"
 Well, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, you!"
 "Yeah I know, darlin', I am"
 ("Charge it")
 "Here, go on charge, darlin' "
 "I'm guilty callin' em, I know you're gonna charge it anyway"
 "Ooh, I know you gonna look good in them blue jeans
 You look like you been poured in 'em"!
 (Fading)
 Oh, charge it baby!
 Yeah, I see you later on, an' hour
 I'm gone to work here, n' when I come back
 I wanna see you with them jeans on, baby
 Yeah, love her, yeah, you look good baby
 Yeah, I know, I know... (fades out to end)